| its been awhile |
[10 Oct 2004|08:40pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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the moldy peaches- NYC's like a graveyard |
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dude i havent written in forever i had homecoming it ruled had the gig zone concert it ruled but i left my backpack there so here i am without my homework so tom is gonna suck so bad cause i have to explain to my teachers the story of why my homework isnt done math and english essay which will hurt my grade bad if i dont have done and maybe german. w00t for me...NOT well i had band practice today it felt so good just to get out and jam. gah im screwed in so many ways yet so good off at the same time.
D&D HxC
~Jadon~
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| me and my love faramones er something |
[20 Sep 2004|05:36pm] |
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gahhhhh everyone is fighting over me and to tell u the truth there is only two or maybe three, just to keep u guys guessing, that i like i wont disclose that but im not dating till everyone calms down cause its pathetic and ive like caused friends to fight and everyone has to calm down take a chill pill and we will see who i date
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| me and my love faramones |
[20 Sep 2004|05:32pm] |
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gahhhhh everyone likes me and is fighting over me casue i have a love faramones er something and to tell u the truth there is only two maybe three, just to keep peps on their toes and guessing, that i like i wont disclose who yet but im not dating till everyone calms down cause its pathetic and ive like turned peps against eachother :( gah we will see what happens and who is the lucky bacholorette that dates me but for now kool ur jets people stop fighting and act like frinds again
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[20 Sep 2004|05:28pm] |
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gahhhhh everyone is fighting over me and to tell u the truth there is only two maybe three, just to keep peps on their toes and guessing, that i like i wont disclose who yet but im not dating till everyone calms down cause its pathetic and ive like turned peps against eachother :( gah we will see what happens and who is the lucky bacholorette that dates me but for now kool ur jets people stop fighting and act like frinds again
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| blagh |
[16 Sep 2004|03:38pm] |
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mood |
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 scared |
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music |
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audioslave |
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maggie got put down today and that sucks badness and even worse my mom might die as well shes having lung and heart probs shes on steroids and a few other meds to keep her from the 6 feet of doom her whole side of her face swell like a damn balloon yesturday 0_o anywhore im off
l8ter
HKxHC
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| violated...betrayed |
[08 Sep 2004|04:37pm] |
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BETRAYED |
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music |
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AFI |
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i hate my mom and i want to kill her so much right now i went to the doctors today i just got back my mom said they were gonna check my blood and my ribs...all fine and dandy i knew it was nothing but we had to go anyway...she never mentioned a physical i was fuckin looked at and touched without anything close to consent and im seriously pissed off and really sad my mom and kim are like whats the big deal and its normal blah fuckin blah no its totally not alright im pissed beyond all reason and i feel even more sad and betrayed gah i want to cry and kims like downing me totally saying i just want something to complain about i need to go hit something
l8ter
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| cant ever get away... |
[05 Sep 2004|09:25pm] |
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mood |
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 guilty |
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music |
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keane |
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i can never just be happy gah i have issues right now but i still am being optimistic atleast i was happy and i mean really happy and i intend to stay that way i want to talk to someone about my "issue(s)" but i dont know of anyone who i could talk to im in the middle of sobering up and i feel like shit i drank infront of the rents cause they are kool and let me now and then if i feel bad or for a celebration or just for shits and giggles but i drank in sarrow cause it seems i can never get away from this issue and its always the cause of the pain i see in my friends and me i feel bad and if it were at all possible id still be drinking right now its that or cut and hell might as well do new stuff thats self destructive instead of the same thing damn bottles of wine and them being empty and people who would find out i was drinking excessivly i dont know what to do im at a stalemate and all rests on what path the other pieces intend to take i now know what those guys that close up bars and still want to drink feel like when the bartender goes i think uve had enough jim ill tell u when ive had enough $6 for a 1.5 litter bottle of arbor mist not bad its 6 proof gah i feel worse than i should its not that bad of a predicament i could only loose a few more friends blagh i just feel like drinking cause when ur drunk u get dizzy, happy and loose u dont feel bad as much and u want to sleep and/or crawl up in a hole and just stay there till ur world stops spinning and u just hope that u dont wake up dont worry u virgin drinkers alchohol doesnt make u feel like this its being sad and knowing being drunk will help i went from happy to wanting to be drunk pass out and not wake up and there isnt that much of a reason well i have a few but they arent that good not enough to want to drink obsessivly well i guess ive nothing more i cant tell u cause i dont know who i can trust enough to talk to who i wont be embarrased enough to talk to and who will be having or had a simular expirience its the first time ive never had help even tho it was right infront of me since the bus btw sorry if i ever hurt anyone i truly am i feel bad and always remember even the smallest things that ive done that have hurt people and they hurt me to know i hurt people i always question if what i did hurt that person if i get an odd reaction to an action ive done i feel bad right now and like every little thing thats bad in my life just like came at once and accumulated to one big issue i should go do something before i get bad enough to actually get another drink
l8ter DxD+HxC
~Jadon~
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| happiest ive been since...ever |
[03 Sep 2004|04:44pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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keane |
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well maybe not ever but still the only time i was ever happier was when i was to young for school and fashion to matter no probs no worries no friends only my pops and mum and i watched cartoons all day woke up at 10 to a good hardy breakfast and it rulled and now...well now its just the opposite i mean i have so many thing to worry about i mean tons and tos more homework thats so hard but it all seems so easy though in large and hard quantities i have to go to school ive been in it for 9 years and now here in the 10th year mark i Love it its awesome i have to do so much i barely have time for friends and free time but its like cocaine its addictive i cant get enough i have only time for school but i feel like matured in a way im gonna miss hanging with friends in a week or two but thats what the weekends are for i like want to strive for betterment i dont want to slack off i dont want to see anything below a B+ on my report card my whole life the rents told me this just be good they didnt do much but they helped me and got me through but i was the one that set restriction and bed times and time for homework i mean at rent/ teacher conferences they always say Jadon has improved so much what ever u guys are doing keep it up and the rents say we didnt change anything it was him and i just want to be on my own and get a job and a car that at least runs till i get enough for my mini cooper itll come faster if my guitarist career jumpstarts quicker than expected tho i doubt it will i was so stressed like a month before school started about what i was gonna do in life how am i gonna make it its just all coming into focas i want to do my homework i want to wake up in the morning get dressed make coffee for the rents and myself and just welcome the day u know. bay port has changed my whole outlook on school and life for that matter in three days im amazed and want to live now i havent had one person yell freak or "Goth" once even on the bus no one has challenged me i wish everyone felt this good especially u melly u seem to hate school so far hopefully u warm up to it anywhore if uve stayed wiht me thru all this entry kudos man...kudos im outty
l8ter DxD+HxC
Jadon
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| first day is done |
[01 Sep 2004|03:31pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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shinedown |
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well i just got back from bay port and dude it rocks my Fin socks i knew it would rule i just didnt want summer to end so lamely but ow well i <3 bay port dude i have homework though wtf mate some books to cover and whatnot but i have to write ten sentances for german 0_0 and i have to go get notebooks from the store anywhore im outty l8ter my pirate friends
DxD HxC
~Jadon~
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| to all that think i like mel...STILL |
[30 Aug 2004|09:33pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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music |
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tenacious D |
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im pissed right now and venting it through this so be prepared to see my bad side i dont fucking like mel seriously u can all let it go we are best friends thats it we have been friends since like i came here is it so hard to just believe me i dont like her as a gf kind of way anyone who thinks so is just a downright fuckin retard get that dumb ass falsified thought out of ur already fried brain u seriously are smoking some kind of fierce reefer if u think i do we are best friends mel is awesome yea shes pretty and funny but so are alot my friends and shes just a friend JUST A FRIEND plus shes dating johnny
sorry mel but i just recieved word that people still think i like u
DxD HxC
~Jadon~
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| gonna write |
[30 Aug 2004|06:18pm] |
im gonna write my song today and finish it im goona finish all the tweeking as well anywhore if u'd like to help please do :)
~Jadon~
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| w00t |
[29 Aug 2004|05:54pm] |
it worked and now im off to attemp to write a ong if it turns out ill post itsll be an eargasm for sure <3
HxK hXc
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| ? |
[29 Aug 2004|05:49pm] |
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trying to post something or anything for that matter seing if it worked
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[23 Aug 2004|08:46am] |
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test
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head_like_ahole's journal